Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Darkness and Light

My mom asked me when I'd get back to continuing my story, and I will, I promise. But the last post I started on our continuing story was a little more emotionally overwhelming than I expected. I couldn't bring myself to look at more than one photo without crying and mourning once again. And that took up the time I had scheduled for a blog post, so I've postponed it for a little longer. Sorry, mom! I'll continue soon. ;)

But for this week's blog post on the study I've been joining, I have to say that I am more encouraged than last week. Oh, I still have questions. MANY questions! My study journal is full of them, trust me. But what jumped out at me most this week is the fact that darkness is conquered by light! I'm so smart, huh? Such an elementary concept, but how often did I not see because I was blinded by darkness?

The passage tells us that he who hates his brother is not only in darkness, but is blinded by it. I think of how many times I have judged a brother or sister because of my preconceived ideas or preferences, did it bring on darkness or light?

Hatred blinds, love enlightens.

Did I actually hate when I misjudged or criticized? I'll ponder that for myself, and let you draw your own conclusions if you join me in self-examination.

And maybe we can both find comfort in the fact that we are told in verse 12 we are forgiven, not for any other reason but his name's sake.

May light flood the darkness in our lives today.

May truth and love prevail, and all for his name's sake.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Questioning to learn, or learning to question...

It's been 3 weeks since we began our Bible study on 1 John. I have honestly been dreading this post because this past week has been a difficult one for me. Every time I read, hear, or discuss a passage in the Bible, it seems as if I'm not learning - I'm just left questioning.

We were at a conference this weekend. The theme was from Mark chapter 9 verse 50. We are to have salt in ourselves and live at peace with each other. Sounds great... but after however many sessions I sat through, I was only left with questions. What does salt represent in the Bible? Truth? Love? Grace? Wisdom? Why are these things not explained if we are to have salt, be salt, and use salt?

Is there something wrong with me? What am I not seeing that everyone else seems to have no problem with? Because really, all that stuff sounds great, all the lessons were well-studied and wonderful. But I have no basis if I don't know what in the world you're talking about.


Then the Bible study verses this week. After about day 3, I wrote in my study journal: "It seems as if all answers are turning into questions instead of the opposite. I just don't know..."

What commandments must we follow?

What does it mean to walk as Jesus did?

I wish I had answers this week, really. But all I have are questions. More and more it seems as if all I have are questions. But maybe that's how I will learn.