Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Change of Plans

Last week I didn't post. I was supposed to be on vacation. I would never want to make the loss of possessions and even loss of life seem less important than my almost frivolous travel plans, but I truly felt the need for a break. So many people have suffered due to this harsh, unforgiving European winter, and I was simply "snowed in" a little with full access to electricity, heat and comfort. For that I am extremely thankful.

We had plans to go on a mini-vacation. Because we had a winter wedding right around Christmas time, it's a challenge to find time to celebrate our anniversary on the actual day, but my sweet husband is always good to find a time to get away in January or February when prices are low. This year, we found a deal that was so unbelievable, we decided to take the kids along with us. We were all completely thrilled to get a break in the middle of the school year, and looked forward to our four-day excursion. But, as you have probably already deduced, that didn't happen. When what should have been at most a 2 and 1/2 hour car ride to the airport turned out to be a 6 hour drive, with snow still coming down, we were forced to make decisions.

The whole thing wasn't traumatic, just disappointing. I found myself constantly saying "At least we're all together, and everything's okay." I knew everyone was a little put-off by the fact that we weren't supposed to have to work that week, and it was difficult to get into the mood to do anything at all, to be honest. So, I did take a little break last week. I didn't do anything but the necessary housework, I didn't get on the computer every day, I didn't cook a big meal every night, I just read a lot, and reflected.

Sometimes plans change. I tend to be the type to over-analyze things, but this time... I don't know why, but I didn't. While it was a little frustrating to lose money on a trip and not be able to go (yes, our plane was actually the one flight that got out on time!) it didn't matter that much to me, oddly enough. When others were asking "Why?" and "What am I supposed to learn from this?" or "What is God trying to teach me?" I for some reason, just kind of sat back, and took it all in. Not that I don't want to learn from the disappointments in life, or that I didn't learn from this, rather, I think sometimes plans just change because life is an evolving, changing thing and we are never really in control no matter how much we like to think we are.

My husband is such a planner. He had everything done and paid for. Things were waiting for us to enjoy our time without a hitch. I love him for being that way. When he does things, they are done right. But not even he is in control. Not really.

It's all about GOD.

And in my life, one thing I struggle with is just trying to find that balance of doing what I can, but relying on God to just do his thing... and be okay with that. This time, I was okay with it. But it seemed like a small thing to me - it's the big things that I want to just take over and demand that things go my way... but maybe the small things will one day become the big things and I'll learn oh-so-slowly, but surely.


  1. Awww Shel! That is disappointing! I'm sorry.

  2. I appreciate your candor, Shelly. You are so precious.

    I'm such a calvinist...when things fall apart in my plans, I tend to be the kind of girl who shrugs her shoulders and thinks, "Ok, God must not have wanted that to happen. He saved me from a tragedy. He is directly involved in this moment."
    I think that comes from living life with men with broad shoulders. My image of God and how He works is directly influenced by that, I think. That's not a negative in my mind, just my observation of myself and lots of people I have discussed this with.